ReQuotes: "You're gonna like the way they sound. I guarantee it!"

In an issue of Direct magazine, you will find legendary copywriter Herschell Gordon Lewis in his usual good form. In his Curmudgeon at Large column he ponders “how successful certain events would have been if the principals had been shrewd and savvy enough to pick up some of our advertising and marketing talk.”

Here are several outtakes:

For example, visualize how much more dynamic Lincoln's Gettysburg Address would have been with a single simple insert: “Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war. But wait, there's more!”
Or Ronald Reagan: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall. Results 100% guaranteed.”
Now that we're in gear, let's include Paul Revere: “One if by land. Two if by sea. Three if you call before midnight, June 15.” Or maybe, “The British are coming. Act now.”
Ah, a classic: “I disagree with what you say, but now, for a limited time only, I shall defend to the death your right to say it.”
We can bring poetry into the mix. After all, too many Elizabethan poems were flat and colorless. Let's give John Donne some punch: “Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. For everything else, there's MasterCard.”
We can't leave the immortal bard gasping for inclusion. Here's Juliet, staring worriedly from her balcony. “O Romeo, Romeo, frankly, I'm puzzled. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

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Posted by Michael McKinney at 11:04 AM
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