Seven Charisma Killers

In The Laws of Charisma, Kurt Mortensen lists a number of things we do that repel people. He writes, “These mistakes are silent charisma killers. Most people will never say anything to you that will alert you to the fact that they are being repelled. They are more comfortable lying to you so that they don’t hurt your feelings. They walk away and simply never deal with you again.” Here are seven of the most common charisma killers adapted from Mortensen’s list that you may not even know you are doing:

1. Talking Too Much. How can you influence others if you are always talking?
2. Showing How Much You Know. You can come across as forceful, aggressive, and obnoxious.
3. Getting To Friendly Too Fast. Research tells us that the majority of people do not appreciate unsolicited small talk, and many find it offensive.
4. Getting Too Comfortable (Too Fast). Respect their things and they will respect you.
5. Proxemics. You must respect personal space, or you will make others feel uncomfortable.
6. Being One-Sided With Your Facts. There are facts and there is the truth. Are you genuine and transparent?
7. Arguing or Trying to Prove You Are Right. Having to be right demonstrates an arrogance that is masking insecurity.

Are you guilty of any of these?