In my leadership coaching practice I talk with my clients about the importance of establishing and maintaining a diverse group of "connections." In fact, I just posted a blog on this topic last week at http://fullpotential-kc.com/blog/?p=266 .

For me, there are two elements that differentiate connecting from simply communicating ... time-tested-trust and reciprocity. There is little more comforting and powerful than having relationships built over time on trust and reciprocity.

In order to connect I listen. In one case, it wasn't until after I had spoken in a team meeting that one of the other members told me that they thought that I did not care about the issue, because I was just sitting back listening to everyone. Once I had contributed, they understood that by listening, I was gaining insight into the issue and could then connect with them in a meaningful way.

In order to connect, I watch peoples' body language much more than what they actually say. It's somewhat like playing poker... You can tell a lot through peoples' motions and patterns.

I connect with teachers and paraprofessionals by engaging in active listening and collaboration. I focus efforts on how I can assist/support the staff to become more effective in teaching students.

As a middle manager, I must take advantage of all forms of communicating to connect with others.
It depends on who it is. For some, it is voicemail, for others a simple text, and at times, I still use a phone call. So much has changed in the last few years, you have to consider your intended audience and message first.

For me, first and most important thing in order to connect with others is being present with myself in such a way that I become a listener. Slowing down is important, not interrupting, and not acting on automatic reactions or thoughts that I might have.

I have found that the biggest thing that helps me connect to people is listening. People know when you are tuned out and going through the motions. I have worked hard on understanding what each person needs from me to succeed. It could be forwarding an article that is related to their interests, reassuring doubts, or following up on. It is important to understand when a person is looking for advice or just venting. When your actions and intentions are genuine you are more likely to connect.

Start from the position that the other person is far more interesting than myself

Research and knowledge about the audience I'm trying to connect with...knowing and understanding how I am attempting to influence their decisions and thoughts after they've heard what I am connecting them to- my company and their decision to hire us.

I read blogs such as this to stay connected to leadology. In my own journey of learning to lead in early education, creating an environment that communicates care and respect for teachers, children and families is all about making connections. I'm with Maxwell, "Communication: without it you travel alone".

I begin with openness and a willingness to learn, even if I am "the teacher" or mentor in a situation.

I end preparation with "what would John Maxwell say - if only I had his book!!".

It is my goal to connect to people by relating to them in some. You have to be willing to listen to people at all costs at all times of the day. I believe one can only connect to people once they understand the other persons background and can relate somehow. In addition, my ability to connect to others is only as good as the relationships in my home. If I am successful at communicating and connecting at home, I am better able to transition that into the work place.

I'm interested to see how such a renowned author/speaker tackles one of the most difficult subjects in the area of leadership. Secondly, I'm curious to see if it produces any tangible results in others lives. Well. . . we shall see!

I connect first by understanding I don't know everything. Step two is to listen and appreciate the local nuances of a situation. I think you have to be steadfast in your core beliefs, but flexible enough to adjust them to given situations.

Listening is key, but it isn't the be all end all. I'm very good at listening and taking in non-verbal cues. However, I know that I still have a long way to go with "connecting". As someone still relatively new to supervising, I have recognized the need for me to slow down and make myself mor available. I need to make the time to connect. It has to be a conscious effort on my part.

I approach the need to connect by serving. It's what is comfortable to me but I don't think it communicates very well. Am Trying to be a better listener, ask better questions. My weak spot is that I find out a lot about the person but tend not to reveal my self as much.

One thing I know for sure is that the quality of my life and those with whom I share a common purpose or circumstance is entirely dependent on our success in authentically connecting with each other's personal journey/experiences and hopes for the future. Sadly, I've come to this understanding more as a result of my failures than by my successes (thank Goodness for second chances and my abilty to learn from my mistakes!). Nevertheless, two key lessons I have learned are to "seek first to understand, before seeking to be understood," because, "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." To me, this requires that I enter relationships willing to be appropriately vulnerable and transparent, but focused primarily on creating a "safe space" between me and another so that they may be free to be authentic and open with me. It seems that sustainable, meaningful, fruit-bearing relationships are only those in which that occurs.

Like you said we still got to do the inside work. And someone made a comment: connecting and comunicating is easier when you star as a listener. I agree!

This reminds me of Habit 5 from 7 Habits - seek first to understand, then to be understood. I try to remember to do that. I listen - to words, body language, facial expressions, voice - and contextual meanings. Spending time with someone, getting to know who they are - and caring who they are - helps me connect, too. And finally, being transparent, trustworthy and consistent - and honoring who they are - is important in connecting.

In my personal life, I have found that I connect with people when I actively listen. I find that I don't have to say much aside from asking questions that guide the conversation and that seems to give people the freedom to not worry about what they say or how they say it and to be honest with themselves. This fits well with my personality as I am definitely introverted and a bit shy at times.
Ironically in my professional life, I find it hard to make meaningful connections. I am young and relatively inexperienced and so I have trouble asking meaningful questions. While I'm not in a leadership role right now per se, I know that I need to think and act as a leader in order to, not only enhance my leadership skills, but also to be prepared for those roles when they are given. Connecting with people, particularly in a profession that requires managing activities and selling your service, is an extremely important skill that I must continue to develop.

I've communicated (or attempted to communicate) both ways - by connecting on a personal level or by keeping it strictly business. In working with volunteers in a trade association, I've seen the direct benefits of connecting with people. More is accomplished, community is built, and goals are reached. When the relationship isn't there, we're all left floundering, leadership suffers and goals are unmet. Connection, seeing people on a personal level and directly interacting with that personal level, is essential to success in my business.

I feel "connecting" is larger than just in the moment of communicating with some one, though that is certainly an important part of "connecting", listening, feed back, interaction, etc. But "connecting" is also part of one of the Accountabilities Sam Silverstein writes about in NO MORE EXCUSES, "Contributing to Your Relationships". Connecting is being genuinely concerned with people AFTER/BEFORE the conversation. Even for those people you communicate with that you may not have any AFTER/BEFORE relationship, if your general practice is to nurture your relationships, I believe that too will influence your ability to communicate with others.

Connecting is making your goal the goal of someone else. This 'someone else' can be an employee, a friend, etc. In order to arouse enthusiasm, a leader needs to allow his/her followers to share the vision, to believe in the mission statement, and to make the goals of the organization their own goals.