Case Dismissed

A reoccurring distraction that often haunts people is forgiveness. When we have been wronged we want it made right. We want absolution, resolution, restitution or at least an adequate apology. Unfortunately in life this almost never happens. Life isn’t fair. Dwelling on this takes our mind off of the goal. Fundamentally, it is an issue of pride. In the new book Success Built to Last the authors provide a good commentary on this issue. “Successful people do not try to rewrite history or to wipe the slate clean. They don’t pretend it didn’t happen. They simply decide to dismiss the case and move on. Obsessing on grudges keeps them alive; letting them go forces them to die as you get back to business.” They continue:

The root of the word “forgive” is actually to send away—to dismiss.

“Dismiss” is a very strong word,” said Reverend Deborah Johnson. “When something is dismissed, it’s over. When it’s dismissed, you don’t keep going back over it.” That’s what successful people do. They don’t necessarily call it forgiveness, but they do abandon blame as a way of life.

“Now there’s a funny thing about this notion of dismissing the case. When you’re in a court of law and, at some point, the judge says ‘case dismissed,’ that doesn’t mean case erased.

There will still be a record of the case in the books. But what isn’t going to happen is we’re not going to keep going through the particulars of this case. Dismissed doesn’t mean that all parties in it experience resolution. It doesn’t mean that a crime didn’t take place.” When the judge dismisses the case, it’s because there will be no more presentation at this point. “It’s over,” she insisted.

My mother used to say, “You don’t forgive to let the other person off the hook, you forgive to let yourself off the hook.” Good advice.